I'm done with my first year of degree!
Haha. I just wanna share something that has bothered me - or should i change the verb 'bother' to 'haunt' ?
It's the matter of insecurity that lies inside me. By nature, human love to compare themselves with others. I think it oftenly occurs to the girls. Why? Cause we do care about everything - even about the slightest things like how am i going to arrange the table? Does the scarft matches the tshirt? Why he didn't pick up the calls and where did he go? Do i look bigger than everybody in the picture? I'm bored and wanna go outside but prefer to stay in my room, instead. And etc. In short, girls are very complicated.
Me too. Overthinking sometimes has caused me a headache. I always think about what i'm gonna do after this, did i annoy someone today, did i make the right choice? did i say something that can hurt others' feeling? did i forget something that should be done by today? and etc. One of my lecturers once told me that i'm a cautious person. After a while thinking about it, yeah it's true....
I'm not bold in expressing my feelings. When i am mad, I usually take a shower. Or maybe I'll go to my friend's room to talk about something. Or maybe I prefer to sleep. That will ease everything. When i am sad i love to write. I love to listen to songs. Or maybe I take my shower and cry till i feel i'm more than okay. I feel shame when people see me crying. I still can remember the last time I cried badly was during my grandfather's funeral. I was there seeing him laying comfortably on the thin mattress. I read the Yassin in front of him. My tears just wont't stop from falling. I can still remember his smell when the last time I kissed him. I can still remember during raya celebration, I combed his hair and he did ask me- 'Who are you? What are you doing here?'. You didn't recognise me because you were not well at that time. Till now, I still read Yassin for you. Wish that Allah grant you with happiness even we are in different world. May your soul rest in peace. Al-Fatihah.
Yes. I'm not bold in expressing love. My family members too. We rarely say something like - "I love you" and etc. We are not used to it. We hug each other when we are about saying goodbye. Nothing more and less. It went till i realised abt it a few years back. I'm working on it up till now. I send a few messages to deliver my love and thoughts to my parents. Just wanna let them know that I love them so much. Well, it happens in my relationship with others. I mean in a love relationship. "Do you really love me?" is one of the highlight questions that being put up. I'm kinda have no idea how to express my love to my loved ones. Yeah, maybe I'm a bit awkward but trust me when I'm in love, it is shown through my gestures and the way I look at you. The word 'sayang' means huge to me. Maybe for others, it's just a plain word. But not to me.
I once fell down very hard. Till i feel like i don't want to further my studies. You have no idea what have I gone through. It took me a few months to let go of everything. To build my strength so that I can get back to the track. So that I can make them proud. And now, I feel blessed with everything that I have. Reminiscing my past years is like walking back to a quiet alley - where a narrow street with walls on both sides. Yeah, I feel it's good for me to go down to the memory lane. As it reminds me of events that had happened in my life.
What about 'me' know? - Here's a short story of me.
I feel thankful to Allah. For everything that I have gained and lost. I believe that everything are meant to be happened. Either the decision was made by me or others, I believe all decisions are coming from HIM.
Yes. I'm not bold in expressing love. My family members too. We rarely say something like - "I love you" and etc. We are not used to it. We hug each other when we are about saying goodbye. Nothing more and less. It went till i realised abt it a few years back. I'm working on it up till now. I send a few messages to deliver my love and thoughts to my parents. Just wanna let them know that I love them so much. Well, it happens in my relationship with others. I mean in a love relationship. "Do you really love me?" is one of the highlight questions that being put up. I'm kinda have no idea how to express my love to my loved ones. Yeah, maybe I'm a bit awkward but trust me when I'm in love, it is shown through my gestures and the way I look at you. The word 'sayang' means huge to me. Maybe for others, it's just a plain word. But not to me.
I once fell down very hard. Till i feel like i don't want to further my studies. You have no idea what have I gone through. It took me a few months to let go of everything. To build my strength so that I can get back to the track. So that I can make them proud. And now, I feel blessed with everything that I have. Reminiscing my past years is like walking back to a quiet alley - where a narrow street with walls on both sides. Yeah, I feel it's good for me to go down to the memory lane. As it reminds me of events that had happened in my life.
What about 'me' know? - Here's a short story of me.
I feel thankful to Allah. For everything that I have gained and lost. I believe that everything are meant to be happened. Either the decision was made by me or others, I believe all decisions are coming from HIM.
Even someone had broken heart read all of this.just wanna tell you that someone had miss you.even you ignored him.even you had forget him.he never do all of that to you.and the last one.someone had dreamed about you many times.and he really care bout you.and he know all of this wont change everything that happen between u n him.but he just want you to know that u had someone that care about u when there is nobody besides u.he dont want anything.he just want u to know.
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